Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Christmas Brag Letters (oh yes, people still write them, just not me)

I've noticed  a few of the Blogs i read are talking about the brag letters at Christmas time... 

I started to recall years ago, when i was little, of course living w/ my parents. It seemed as if we received a TON of cards and letters. I used to hang them on the door to the basement w/ tape and a few years we actually covered the entire door. Both the cards and letters tapered off as we got older and entered high school.

I remember a family my parents were stationed w/ would send one each year. We had no contact w/ them ALL year and then around the holidays, The Letter would arrive, tucked in a gawdy card, or an old almost yellowing card because it's been in your closet for almost 10 years and you cannot throw that shit away! People, we should feel lucky, we were invited and allowed into their families lives for a few minutes. I almost felt like I was at each and every band concert, swim meet, and church function! ! i really did (not).

Reflecting for a second... on my own life...  What if Jenn were to write a brag letter? An interesting little tidbit covering the past 12 months in my shoes, or in my house? I determined it would be pretty damn similar to 2 other years of my life. And then I realized that I'd prefer not to brag about those moments to people who clearly have other things to do and if they really gave a damn about me, we could totally be friends during the months of January through November. Preferably around April, we could be really really close during my birthday week.

This list below is by no means a "what I'm thankful for". It's just a bulletized list of things normal people would write about because this is normal stuff that happens that parents like to brag about but these things do not end up to be bragging material.  

As we close another year in the (insert last name, I have a few) household... (trashy opening line to grab your attention, it's not a fib though)
  • I have an additional mouth to feed, she's actually been around for 2 years - welcome new kid!
  • A cat lives with us. I don't like cats. I don't even know his/her name.
  • I have another last name but no husband around (this is NOT the first time this has been written on a list - pathetic)
  • The teen did not play any sports this year (wtf?)
  • Toddler tried dance class (once) and left the room screaming. We will try again next year,  you know, because we have a letter to write in December.
  •  Uhm- we have a boat and are on the river  ALL the time. (new thing, yes)
  • I am skinny now. (i like this one just as much as the one above, hell yes!) 
  • I learned (not first hand, but too close for my comfort level) that drugs are addictive, and drinking and driving are BAD! 
  • I judged a few people wrongly, should have looked closer at a few others close to me as well. I've distanced myself from certain people and threw myself at others who are more positive.
  • I'm a single parent AGAIN and have an additional child - (goes w/ the first one, but i wanted some sympathy as we close this year out)  
Disclaimer: I notice a pattern too Capt Obvious. Practice a little holiday cheer and restraint and leave me alone! 

And that my friends, wraps up another 365 days. I cannot wait to send this out again next year!

1 comment:

  1. I HATE those things. My Mother In Law writes one every year and I cringe when I get it because I know it is mostly boring crap (oh, my knee hurts, Tom plays golf, we had lunch at this place in the Valley once), and will always include something big, yet totally undeserving of any recognition (oh, yeah, our son received the Nobel prize... and our daughter got her nose pierced). Or sometimes something highly embarrassing (our granddaughter got her period).

    Okay, so I clearly have issues with this particular x-mas tradition. :)

    Found you at Finding the Funny ;)