Wednesday, August 15, 2012

To live in my SPAM folder for a day

For one day I'd like to live in my SPAM email folder... where every SPAM email was real and possible. It would probably be better than any dream I could possibly have lately since dreaming requires SLEEP.

And sleep normally requires laying down (sort of) and a span of time where my eyes must remain closed.

I am not receiving either of those this week because I have a toddler w/ strep throat proceeded by a week or two of devilish behavior and quite possible horns were spotted slightly protruding from under her hair. I have no idea when the strep throat started or if I started it. G and I are currently on antibiotics for a lengthy cold or whatever/ with an awesome cough that is like a warning of what it will sound like if we smoke 1000 times a day for the rest of our lives. (no thank you)

Anyway- to live in my SPAM folder would be nice for today:
The price of Viagra has gone down with each email- WOW, if only I were a man, a man who needed penile assistance, and a man in need of penile assistance who would buy boner builders online.

There is very very important software upgrades planned for my American Express account that requires MY attention for an account i don't have. However, since this is the one day that SPAM is real, I should update it - yeah right! asshats!

A few very important foreign people have money to loan me. yeah!! - yes, that's what the email says.

COCKZILLA is the new word. - from "me" says the email.

The FBI sent me a classified email.. which because I'm trained, i know that i cannot open them on my unclass email, I'm sure it was a mistake on their part.

Seriously, I'm tired as hell and instead of making jokes about what's in my SPAM folder I should be taking a nap.

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