Thursday, November 15, 2012

The HOLANX is setting in early this year... pass the wine and duct tape!

Conversation w/ my father this morning about potential Thanksgiving guests. Guests at THEIR house, so there's not much I can do except prepare.

And by prepare I mean: reviewing possible scenarios, identifying exit points throughout the house, locating all sharp objects/utensils and maintaining a closer distance than any other persons, ensure cordless phones are within arms reach, and finally, devising a plan to always have a bottle of wine in hand!

Me: She may come?? Why do you like her? She's old and has kids.
Dad: So are you. (insert deep old man belly laugh)
Me: OK, bye. (immediately offended, starts rocking back and forth, and hangs up (sort of similar to slamming a door and stomping upstairs to my room)

Decide to call my mother at work for some positive attention and clarification.

Conversation w/ my mother:
Me: She may come?? Why do you like her? She's old and has kids.
Mom: Yes.
Me: Why do you like her?
Mom: Because and I have to go, bye!

Immediately offended again.

HOLANX setting in early. HOLANX is my self diagnosed condition - Holiday Anxiety. Treatment is lots of wine, car keys, and tape for my mouth.


  1. I have this disorder! I'm so glad there's a name, now what's the treatment???

  2. Treatment varies by holiday and family members.. wine makes everything easier for me to deal with:-)