Saturday, July 13, 2013

Kid-less chaos – this is the kind of chaos you create ALL by yourself and you cannot blame the little's for ANY of it.

Kid-less chaos – this is the kind of chaos you create ALL by yourself and you cannot blame the little's for ANY of it.

Wednesday evening to Thursday morning – this is MY time; my time where flexibility and spontaneity are OK and welcome, to a degree.  I have zero commitments Wednesday afternoon and no daycare pick up. Usually this kid-less time allows me to clean up the toddler tornado that swept through my house and catch up on laundry and relax. (note: the teen is here of course, but she’s self-sufficient in a toddler way, make sense?) Thursday mornings I have time to wake up early and have coffee or do whatever without having to wake up and dress and feed a toddler for daycare.

Last week was special, special like if bars were open at 7am I would have decided to work from the bar, special like if there weren’t just as much traffic on 95 south as there were on 95 north I would’ve turned around and gone home like I was leaving the bus stop on a winter morning day.

I woke up at 5am to read, watch the news, and drink coffee in peace.  I did. I got dressed and was feeling pretty damn pretty regarding my outfit choice (that was laid out the night before because I have time to prepare on Wed evenings). I walked out the door a little later than normal because I’m sans kids. Insanity started about 15 minutes down the road. I mean serious insanity.

I looked down, don’t ask why or how I thought looking at my crotch was something I needed to do while sitting at a stop light.. nonetheless, I looked down and saw that my “new” pants were SPLIT. I saw my underwear kind of split. I thought maybe I could handle it but why on earth would I assume THAT much risk right? Ugh, I turned the car around knowing that this detour would cause me to be too late to arrive at the slug line in time to get a ride. Regardless, I HAD to.

Of course, getting ready for a second time will NOT be as smooth as the first time. After 20 minutes of flinging shirts and skirts and dresses from my close to the bed, I finally found a really tight black skirt that is most likely from my 15 year olds closet. Got back in the car to start the commute all over again. Except I KNOW I’m LATE and I will most likely be too late to catch a ride. This time, the radio was louder and the traffic worse. I drove and sang and drove and sang ALL THE WAY TO DAYCARE! Which is about 10 minutes away from my destination, slug lot. Yes, I was at daycare ready to drop off… NO ONE! I didn’t have a toddler w/ me. I checked the back seat, the car seat, and even the passenger seat, no toddler. I was not going to forget her if she were in the car. I checked a few times more.

Back on my way, this time even later than before. This time the music was even louder and I was crying I was so damn mad at myself.

I was thinking, I should have quit hours ago and stayed home.  

Finally arrived at the commuter lot, parked my car in a parking space that I created. It’s located about 4 spots after the last spot in the row. It happens ALL the time, everyday but if anyone gets towed.. they will start with my car.

Walked up to the slug line to Arlington and joined 3 other folks at 7:30am. There’s about an 85% chance we’re not getting a ride and I will be forced to drive in the main lanes w/ millions of people who have been sitting there forever festering. No way, a car pulls up and tells all 4 of us to get in. And yes, who gets to sit in the middle in the back seat as if I were 10 years old? You guessed it, this girl. I sat on what seemed to be an egg, with my legs off to one side over the hump on the floor, and even rubbed arms w/ a lady who also wore a sleeveless shirt. My bear arm rested on hers the entire ride into Arlington. The guy on my left was comfy enough to fall asleep 17,458 times and his greasy head kept falling on my left shoulder. I could not wait to get into Arlington. And my goodness we got there fast because the woman drove NO LESS than 80 mph. Good job girl, get it done, get us into town as fast as possible because we are stuffed like sardines back here.

We arrived at the metro in record time and of course the city air is stained w/ urine. Seriously Arlington VA smells more like pee than anything else these hot humid days.

Eventually I arrived at the other end of commute and a wonderful man in a big black truck picked me up and drove me the rest of the way to work.

Mission complete! The morning chaos is over. I may be thirsty, hungry, hate my outfit, late, I have frizzy hair, my shoes are smashed in my bag, water bottle leaked, but I’m at work and that was the goal.

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