To hell w/ last names!

To hell w/ last names!

Dear World: I respectfully request last names be deleted from society.

Please and thank you.

Jenn

We don’t use them for identification purposes anymore – shit, you can buy them online probably as an option to the master’s degree certificates available for purchase.

I don’t think we’re judged based on last names (I’m speaking for non-celebrity types).

Going back to my maiden name is NOT an option! If I change my name one more time, the IT department at work is going to freak out and shut me off. They already have issues every time I call them w/ an issue due to the multiple profiles as a result of multiple last names. (MLNs)

BOOM: That’s IT… previous marriages will now be referred to as MLNs. To say previous marriage (s), yes, w/ an s… sounds extremely trashy (to me) and by (to me), I mean I would totally make fun of me if I weren’t me.

I won’t bore you w/ the past.. And by “won’t bore you”, I mean, I won’t trash it up and explain the MLNs in detail because normally that story is followed up w/ drinks. And it’s currently before noon; Even though I already ate my lunch. (Shit, what the f am I going to do for lunch now?)

Just know that I can justify each MLN and by the end of the story, you will say “awe, Jenn, it’s ok, that’s totally not your fault, you deserve to be happy, you’re great, you’re awesome, you’re amazing”…. Yes, I totally missed my calling, I know.

My maiden name is Slack… for those who don’t know. Hold off, no seriously, hold off on the 3-4 not so funny jokes you’re thinking of because guess what… I’ve heard them before and at age 36, they are NOT funny! At ALL!

I will not be a SLACK again. I will not be any of my MLNs ever again.

To hell w/ last names!

Dear World: I respectfully request last names be deleted from society.

Please and thank you.