Thursday, March 15, 2012

Work and Care Bears... LarBears.. Family

This began as a work rant email to my 2 coworkers in 2009. 

To rant back and forth was completely normal and our little way of maintaining sanity when we had no idea we were inadvertently standing in the way of solving real world war time problems.. at least that’s how it was interpreted to us. 

Our BOSS then: He recently retired after having served our government for over 30 years in many different capacities. As he used to say, back then, they used to get things DONE. And by done, I mean, good old fashioned “Walking down the hallway to route a financial package”. And by “financial package”, I mean, approval and funding for the latest widget for our war fighter, and by “route”, I mean he would literally walk the halls of the Pentagon to the next person on the list, charm, I mean talk, then hand said person a pen and wait for a scribble. His name was Larry and he reminded us of a scruffy Teddy Bear, you know that one that you absolutely love but he makes you angry sometimes? He has the ability to rapidly increase your level of frustration which should require medication and then w/in seconds he turns around and smiles at you and everything is fine. For all these reasons we dubbed him LarBear (his name Larry) and we soon became known as the Care Bears. 

I was curious and did some research to connect us to actual Care Bears and quickly sent this email to my cohorts. 

We care!! Our family!! 
* (JENN - ME) Cheer Bear is a very happy and perky bear, who helps everyone be their happiest and cheer up those who are unhappy. She is pink with a rainbow as her tummy symbol. In the later Nelvana episodes she sports a ponytail and wears a yellow jacket with puffed sleeves. In Care Bears: Adventures in Care-a-Lot , she has a short ponytail with a rainbow ribbon. 

 * (STEPH) Funshine Bear loves to play and tell jokes all the time, but sometimes forgets that there are times in life you must be serious. He is yellow with a smiling sun on his tummy. Funshine was originally a female Care Bear until 2002. He plays the starring role in Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-lot . In Care Bears: Adventures in Care-a-Lot , he wears a red baseball cap, and has lost his jokester personal, as it was replaced with his new caring mission of making up games and other fun things. 

 * (TODD) Tenderheart Bear helps everyone show and express their feelings and helps his fellow Care Bears be the most caring they can be. In the 1980s movies and cartoons he was the leader of the Care Bears. He is orange (originally brown) and his tummy symbol is a big red heart with a pink outline. In Care Bears: Adventures in Care-a-Lot , he wears a red heart-shaped backpack. A limited edition white and silver Tenderheart Bear plush (which includes an exclusive DVD) was also released 2007 to commemorate the Care Bears' 25th anniversary. 

UPDATE a few days later: 
* (TODD) I feel more like "I-could-give-a-**** Bear" today. His butt is dragging on the ground and wears a target on his forehead. He drinks way too much coffee and gets roped into way too many tasks. He plays a starring role in "Adventures in SETA-World" and "I-could-give-a-**** Bear Goes Postal." 

 UPDATE a month later, 2010
 * (JENN-ME) Awe... Today I am "New Mom going Crazy Bear" .... W/ baby formula and probably baby puke on both shoulders, hair is frizzy and thirsty as he** for a beer... But there are no more in the fridge. This is a rare bear and its only around for a limited amount if time. This bear also doesn't communicate well as been limited to baby talk, baby cries, baby poop and baby care for the past 10 hours!

UPDATE yesterday, what a difference 2 years makes: 
* (JENN-ME) Jenn is now known as Screw You Bear, the lighter version of "F You" prior to medication. This Bear is made w/ large, fuzzy animated hands, w/ the middle finger sewn in the "up" position permanently. Her Tummy symbol is BLAH because she recently reproduced w/ the Harley Ass hole Bear who has been disbanded and his stuffing removed. He is no longer w/ the Care Bear Family. Her previously short ponytail has turned into an inverted bob w/ a little sass to make her feel better. Screw You Bear will be completely overhauled in the August 2012 time-frame. Stay tuned for a brighter, healthier, cleaner (w/ a name change) Bear addition.

Input from Todd: You forgot about Screw You Bear's tattoo: it's in the shape of pucker with the words "kiss this" placed by her tail. 

So of course, I suggested w/ make small prototypes of said LarBears for fun! 


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