Showing posts with label wine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wine. Show all posts

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The HOLANX is setting in early this year... pass the wine and duct tape!

Conversation w/ my father this morning about potential Thanksgiving guests. Guests at THEIR house, so there's not much I can do except prepare.

And by prepare I mean: reviewing possible scenarios, identifying exit points throughout the house, locating all sharp objects/utensils and maintaining a closer distance than any other persons, ensure cordless phones are within arms reach, and finally, devising a plan to always have a bottle of wine in hand!

Conversation:
Me: She may come?? Why do you like her? She's old and has kids.
Dad: So are you. (insert deep old man belly laugh)
Me: OK, bye. (immediately offended, starts rocking back and forth, and hangs up (sort of similar to slamming a door and stomping upstairs to my room)

Decide to call my mother at work for some positive attention and clarification.

Conversation w/ my mother:
Me: She may come?? Why do you like her? She's old and has kids.
Mom: Yes.
Me: Why do you like her?
Mom: Because and I have to go, bye!

Immediately offended again.

HOLANX setting in early. HOLANX is my self diagnosed condition - Holiday Anxiety. Treatment is lots of wine, car keys, and tape for my mouth.